In my Dreams John Green

I'm known to have some pretty eeffed up dreams.

warning: what you're about to read is graphic in nature! But not that bad if you've ever sat and watched animal planet for an hour.

I frequently dream I am eaten alive by spiders in my bed. I frequently dream I'm eaten alive by alligators. I frequently dream I'm eaten alive by a cougar who jumps through my window to drag me away, eat me then leave my rotting flesh in a tree so it can snack on me later.


Like I said, some eeffed up dreams.

So two nights ago, I dreamed that John Green, best selling author of Paper Towns, Co-Ruler of Nerdfighteria, was at my house having lunch.

I believe we were enjoying grilled cheese and tomato soup when out from freaking nowhere my pet tiger jumped onto the table and ate John. The oddest thing about this dream is not that John Green was having lunch at my house, not that I owned a pet tiger, nor that my pet tiger ate John. No, it was that after my pet tiger had her lunch I said something like, "I knew it was a bad idea to own a tiger" and then I did the dishes.

Moral of the story... I should not reread Paper Towns with Animal Planet on as background noise.

*Waves @ John* Sorry you didn't get to finish your lunch John. Oh, and also sorry for the whole death by a tiger thing.