A to Z (taken from Facebook)

A
- Available: for witty writing and various other things
- Age: 2o-something
- Annoyance: my car is kinda a mess right now. He needs a bath.
- Animal: I like a lot but we'll start with little white fluffy doggy.
- Actor: I enjoy most of Tom Hanks movies.
-Actress: Reese Witherspoon because she cracks me up

B
- Beer: I'm not allowed to drink beer; one sip and I'm puking.
- Birthday/Birthplace: New Year's Eve; sometime in the 80s; Grand Rapids, MI
- Best Friend: Erin

- Body Part on opposite sex: I notice smile first then eyes.
- Best feeling in the world: contentment
- Best weather: 75 and sunny. Not too hot and perfect for hanging on the beach with some ice cream.
- Been on stage?: Yup. But not for a few years; I miss it.
- Believe in yourself?: Not all of the time, but I'm working on it.
- Believe in life on other planets: I do. "It's a great big universe and we're all really puny; we're just tiny little specs about the size of Mickey Rooney." -Animaniacs.
- Believe in miracles: Yes! I've seen them up close.
- Believe in Magic: Yes.
- Believe in Religion: I'm Catholic. So... yes.
- Believe in Santa: Not since I was nine.
- Believe in Ghosts/spirits: Yes!

C
- Car: I have a 2004 Grand Am; black
- Candy: Chocolate. I will eat it in any form. God, I love chocolate.
- Cried in school: I'm not in school any more... but yes, I did when I was there.

***Tangent***
I once had to recite Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven in my Freshman English Class. It was my pick and I can do it (and sing it too!) But I couldn't do it that day. I got up in front of the class and did the first two lines "Once upon a midnight dreary while I pondered, weak and weary, Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore...." and then my brain froze. I think it was the fact that I was standing right in front of the guy I liked...and he was grading me. I just started crying. Really hot right?

You know what's worse than crying in front of your Freshman English class? When your crush, I mean teacher, makes you try it again 2 days later... and you get out "Once upon a..." and just yell "forget it!" and sit down and cry.

BUT I CAN DO IT I SWEAR!



- Chocolate/Vanilla: We've already covered this, but Chocolate!
- Chinese/Mexican: I'm white, yo. Oh... you mean food! In that case, Italian.
- Cake or pie: Cake has something extra special that pie does not...frosting.
- Country to visit: It's a 3-way tie between Japan, Germany and The Vatican.

D
- Day or Night: I try really, really hard to be a morning person. I fail epically.
- Dream vehicle: A car that is clean.
- Dance: Freestyle.
- Dance in the rain?: I don't like being sick so no.
- Do the splits?: Not even close.

E
- Eggs: Sunny-Side-Up
- Eyes: Blue. Blue. Blue.
- Everyone has a: a brain (not everyone uses it).


F
- First crush: Mark in 1st grade.
- Full name: Tamaryn Tobian.
- First thoughts waking up: "Just five more minutes."

G
- Greatest Fear(s): Spiders (Specifically Brown Recluses). Being eaten by a cougar. And being on ladders.

***Tangent***
I'm not afraid of heights. I don't like being on ladders because I get vertigo. There is a 1 in 4 chance I will fall off.

- Goals: Write a book people will love.
- Gum: Big League Chew.
- Get along with your parents?: Yes! They're awesome.
- Good luck charm: My smile. I bring it with me wherever I go.

H
- Hair Color: Brown with natural highlights.
- Height: 5'3"
- Happy: I try very hard to be.
- Holiday: Good Friday. (I know... so weird right?)
- How do you want to die: If I gotta go, I'd like to go in an instant.
- Health freak?: I wish I was more of one.
- Hate: Wet Socks!

I
- Ice Cream: Take a guess... you guessed it... chocolate (ahem... mint chocolate is nice too)
- Instrument: My voice (what's left of it.)

J
- Jewelry: Not all the time but, earrings, necklaces, and a ring or two.
- Job: I write ad copy, do some marketing, and I'm working on a Novel.

K
- Kids: No thanks. I'd think about changing my mind if I met the right guy...but honestly, I'd want to adopt.
- Kickboxing or karate: Karate. 4 times a week.
- Keep a journal?: Not really. Does this blog count?

L
- Longest Car Ride: I think Michigan to Florida takes the win.
- Love: Chocolate.
- Letter(s): I write more emails than anyone I know.
- Laughed so hard you cried: This happens most often when I am around @KellenParker
- Love at first sight: I have yet to experience this.

M
- Milk flavor: Duh. chocolate. Are you catching on yet?
- Movie: Hard to pick just one. Usually ones with sad endings.
- Mooned anyone?: Not on purpose.
- Marriage: Almost, sorta once.
- Motion sickness?: When I'm standing still.
- McD's or BK: McDonald's. I'm already salivating at the thought of their fries.

N
- Number of Siblings: Just @TerryJamesT
- Number of Piercings: One in each ear.
- Number: 13 is nice.

O
- Overused Phrases: "I know right?"
- One phobia: Didn't we cover fears?

P
- Place you'd like to live: Where I live is nice.
-Perfect Pizza: I like ones with pineapple on them.
- Pepsi/Coke: Diet Coke! (But I'm not allowed to drink it)

Q
- Quail: Quail? WTH? You couldn't have gone with "Quote?"

***I'm adding in*** -Quote:

" You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed." -The Fox in Le Petit Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (The quote sounds better in French)

R
- Reason to cry: Over spilled milk.
- Reality T.V.: American Idol sucks me in every year.
- Radio Station: iPod
- Roll your tongue in a circle?: Only one circle.

S
- Song: I've been listening to Sia's Breathe Me for like a year now... no really...every minute of the whole year. ;)
- Salad: Spinach with pineapple, mandarin oranges, blue berries, strawberries and anything else summer-y I can throw in.
- Shrimp?: I absolutely love it.
- Sport?: Softball, Karate and I like watching Hockey.
- Skipped school: I've skipped classes in College.
- Slept outside: I have...on an air mattress. :)
- Seen a dead body?: Yes...
- Shower Daily?: usually every other. But I don't always wash my hair.
- Sing well?: Until I started having problems with my ear and my esophagus...yes I did.
- Stuffed Animals?: are usually cute.
- Single/Group dates: I can't remember the last time I've been on a date.
- Strawberries/Blueberries: I like both but OMG Blueberries are so yum!
- Scientists need to invent: a way to teleport. GET ON IT SCIENCE!

T
- Time for bed: I'm usually in bed around 1am
- Thunderstorms: are so freaking awesome...when I'm not on the third floor of my condo when it feels like my house is about to fall apart.
- TV: Burn Notice is a top fave. Rove (Aussie Talk show hosted by Rove McManus) and Verbotene Libe (A German glam soap... I'm learning German 'cause of it!)
- Touch your tongue to your nose?: Yes I can.

U
- Unpredictable: People

V
- Vegetable you hate: I've never had brussel sprouts.
- Vegetable you love: broccoli, baby corn, celery, spinach
- Vacation spot: Haunuma Bay Hawaii

W
- Weakness: Chocolate
- When you grow up: I am grown up.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you?: Erin is so different she's exactly like me.
- Who makes you laugh the most: Pretty sure we covered it. It's @KellenParker
- Worst feeling: feeling alone; which is not the same as being alone.


X
-X-Ray: Feet (many many times) MRI, Cat Scan, Teeth (many, many, many, many times) There's more but I can't think of them.

Y
-Year now?: 2009
-Yellow: Brick Road.

Z
- Zoo animal: I'm a fan of Pandas, Sea Otters and HUGE turtles.
- Zodiac sign: Cappy

Last person who:
- Saw you cry: My mom and Dad.
- Went to the movies with you: My brother @TerryJamesT
- You went to the mall with: To shop or see a movie? Let's go with @TerryJamesT
- Went to dinner with: Um....... no idea. This happens a lot.
- Talked to on the phone: Someone from the Parent unit
- Made you laugh: David.

Don't Break My Treadmill Zone.

Recently I've started running. I've been looking for an easy way to get back my Karate fit self but I haven't been to a Karate class in 2 years. My city recently built a Community Center that has fitness equipment. For the very affordable price of $175 a year I can torture myself on a treadmill.

Actually, I prefer running on the treadmill over running outside because it's easier on my knees and I can read. I work out my body and my mind. However, this weekend reminded me that there are some people in this world that shouldn't be allowed anywhere near fitness equipment.

Saturday morning I was in a zone. I was twenty minutes into my hour run, I was running at a decent speed, and jamming out to BoA's new English album while I read a novel called Sushi for One? (a book so far I like). Because I was holding the book, after every paragraph or so, I look up to see when my speed settings will change (I alternate between fast and slow) so I don't trip. It was during one of these safety check moments I notice a couple nearing their sixties staring at me.

Staring is putting it mildly. They were pointing at me. What are my pants falling down? was my first thought. I tried to ignore them. I wasn't in the mood to talk to people and I knew I wasn't in a mood to talk to these people. She looked like an aged Barbie that had been dunked in cotton candy in her matching pink Adidas workout gear and he looked like a lost air traffic controller with his big, orange radio headphones that could easily pick up signals from Mars. Trying to ignore them was a mistake, because like a cougar on the hunt they walked up to me and Candy grabbed my arm.

Now, anyone with common sense knows that you shouldn't grab people on moving machinery who both can't hear you and have their nose in a book. Common sense was not a gift given to these two.

Naturally, I freak out, stumble and try to hit the stop button all the while they're saying something to me but I can't hear a word they're saying because BoA is still being pumped into my ear drums at decibels that could drown out a train.

So when I finally do balance myself, have a free hand...and skittishly rip out one of my ear buds, here's how the convo went down:

"Did you buy that?" Candy said.

"What?! HUH?" I said with a skyward jump, dropping my book and ripping out one of my ear buds.

"Did you buy that?" she repeated.

"Yeah it's an iPod," fumbling to hit the stop button as I drifted closer and closer to the edge.

She gave me a look that could kill, "I know what it is, I have one."

"Okay....?" I asked wondering why she seemed offended.

"Did you buy that?" She repeated again.

"Yes." I said with a tone that indicated get to your eeefing point already.

"I'm looking for an arm band for mine."

"Oh. Meijer."

"Oh! OK! Thanks!" she said in a voice that conveyed all was forgiven. Only, I was anything but in the mood to forgive.

"That's really impressive that you can hold your book like that," her husband chirped

I panted, "Is it?"

"Yes. That's a lot of balance."

Feeling the need to make a point; I said, "I was in a zone."

"Sorry we startled you," the husband said in the same annoying tone that expressed forgiveness, but I was still plotting my revenge.

Me with one eyebrow raised and a well deserved sneer on my face, "Yeah. Thanks."

Then I hit the OK button instead of the quick start, "Schiß!"

"You OK?" Candy said as she stepped onto the Treadmill next to me.

No you idiot, I just lost all the stats on my eeeefing workout because you frazzled me by your wanting to know where you could get a stupid arm band.... "Yup. Hit the wrong button."

"Oh! OK!" She exclaimed as she started her treadmill.

I secretly hoped she'd trip but at a continuous speed of 2.5 with a flat line, zero incline I knew she and her purple Nano would be happily ever after.


I have no idea how many miles I ran that day or how many calories I might have burned but I know one thing endorphins don't give some people any more common sense than if they'd banged their head against a dumbbell.

Don't Facebook Lurk Unless You want your Heart Cracked

As regular Ranters will know, I'm currently in the midst of writing a YA novel and as a result I've had many conversations with both my younger, 14 Year Old Self and actual 14 year olds. Let's pretend it's me getting into character or the minds of my characters. Yeah, just with that.

A common theme in my book and among teens in general is crushes-- the pining-over-someone-you-can't-ever-have-so-you-might-as-well-get-over-it crushes. The stuff of love songs, really. Having them. Dealing with them. What the heck to do with them?

When I was in the seventh grade Dean Cain was making his living as Superman on primetime television. It was also a well known fact that me and my best friend had the hots for men way, way, way too old for us. This is an actual conversation I had in the the back seat of my mom's car with my two best friends:

Me: Brad Pitt

Friend 1: Pierce Brosnan

Me: Brad Pitt

Friend 1: Pierce Brosnan

Me: Brad Pitt

Friend 1: Pierce Brosnan

Me: Brad Pitt

Friend 1: Pierce Brosnan

Friend 2: Dean Cain

A contemporary conversation would sound like this:

Friend 1: Nick

Friend 2: Kevin

Friend 1: Nick

Friend 2: Kevin

Friend 1: Nick

Friend 2: Kevin

Friend 1: Nick

Friend 2: Kevin

Friend 3: Joe

The guys may change over time, but any given Thursday you can drive carpool and hear this same conversation in just about any country in the world. And that got me thinking; what would be the result if you had the chance to lurk their Facebook page?

Actually, the question is just as valid for a non celebrity crush as is it a celebrity one. Maybe more valid, because they're reachable.

The resounding answer is disappointment and loss of magic. You will inevitably learn things you won't want to. The fantasy will become real. You will have seen who they are. Now, understand you tween Ranters, you will not have seen the real them. Instead you will have seen a hyper reality them where they have full control of their image.

There's a vanity to Facebook. We post status updates and leave wall posts because we believe we are cool and that our opinion matters. We want others to believe we're cool and that our opinion matters.

So now you're surfing this hyper-reality of your crush and suddenly you're faced with all the things you don't want to be true. They have a girlfriend. They sing in their shower. They're most like the Scarecrow and the color that best describes them is Burnt Sienna. Plus they're a fan of Flip Flops. But the worst part is, their wall is filled with posts from hotties. Not just any hotties but girls with porn star names and looks to match. Girls who make no shame in flaunting their...assets. Their airbrushed photos make the photo your sister took of you in the bathroom smell like aged cheese. You know, if photos could smell.

And now, your 14 year old self is filled with even more insecurity and that makes your self confidence level nonexistent.

Curiosity didn't just kill the cat, it stole its identity too.

What To Do If You Fall In Love With Your Best Friend*

The jury is still deliberating on whether or not you should or shouldn't fall in love with your best friend. Personally, I know from experience that it can be extremely problematic. You never see it coming and after it happens drama always ensues. It doesn't matter if you're a girl or a guy. Drama. Always. Ensues.

Take this all-too-common scenario: You and your best friend decide to take a road trip (the destination doesn't matter) and somewhere between point a) and point b) something happens that causes a eureka moment in which one friend suddenly realizes "Oh Shit! I think I'm in love with my best friend." That moment could have been caused by the fact that your friend was able to avoid hitting that land whale in the minivan or the fact that he remembered to wake you up when stopping for gas so you could pee and get another bag of Twizzlers. It's something that makes you go, "wait a minute, I think they care about me!" And then you start to like "care" about them.

Now after this happens there's an over whelming need to tell someone. Sometimes you get drunk in Mexico and you accidentally let slip that you've fallen in love. Then there's this annoying back-and-forth where they ask you "who" and you say some variant of "oh nobody" until finally you cave and your true feelings spill out like a semi truck that's carrying Jacks jackknifes and spills its cargo all over I-75. That shit's hard to clean up.

So. What do you DO?

You really should avoid dating at all costs. But let's face it...if they like you too you'll probably date. I can't tell you if it'll last. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. With me and The Nomad it didn't. But that's a whole other blog post. Trust me.

The trickier one is what do you do if they don't like you back romantically?

DAMAGE CONTROL!

See like, suddenly "everything changes," you'll feel like you're walking on broken glass, your anger will start to rise when you think he isn't replying to that txt you sent at 4:30am as speedily as they once did. The nerve! I mean, like, he always liked listening to what you ate for lunch before.

Naturally, you start to think he's ignoring you. Hell, he might even hate you! I mean, duh, since clearly when a bunch of you went to the bar last Friday and he bought all his boys a round but didn't bother to pay for your glass of Merlot he hates you.

When you start to feel this way, you should NOT emo-mail. That's emailing when you're lonely and pissed off. Many a best friends have been lost this way. That's a hard one to come back from. Most email is auto-archived and that one line you wish you hadn't said, "I swear to god I will upload all my most embarrassing photos I have of you to facebook, including that one of you making out with a kangaroo during the senior year field trip to the zoo!" is now quite literally in black and white. Unless you're one of those people who writes their e-mails in purple... and if you are knock it off, it's annoying.

Truthfully, there are ways to reconcile emo-mailing... but sending 20 "I'm sorry" e-cards with Jack Sparrow on them isn't one of them. Guyliner can fix a lot of things, except this. Instead, send one, ONE, email apologizing for your previous e-mail. Simply explain that you meant to send it to yourself. You were jotting down ideas to use in your creative writing class and you hadn't come up with clever names for your characters yet, and you were just using his name as a place holder. End it with..."sorry man, hope we're cool."

I know friendship should be built on honestly, but sometimes you've gotta lie.

Also, you should probably not subscribe to his Twitter. It's a bad idea if you read that he's checking out the barista at your fave Starbucks. Or if he forgot to invite you to the midnight movie of Star Trek. Or if he forgot to call you on your birthday because he was out skateboarding with his bros. That shit stings and will likely make you emo-txt or emo-tweet. They're just as bad as emo-mailing except their spite is expressed in only 140 - 160 characters.

If you can keep yourself from the normal feelings of jealousy, angst, rage, along with feelings of rejection and neglect you and your friend should be able to go back to being the friends you always were. Just as soon as you find someone hotter than he is to date. ;)



*This blog post was inspired by a friend.